Marty Noble lays down the law

Just read the first question and answer from Marty Noble's latest mailbag:

With Carlos Delgado struggling, Ryan Church and Angel Pagan playing well and giving the outfield some speed, Endy Chavez on the bench and Moises Alou due back, why not give Alou a shot at first base?
-- John D., St. Albans, N.Y.

Your e-mail arrived before the developments of Sunday -- Delgado hit two home runs and we got word from the Mets that Alou might have a broken bone in his left foot. But if all matters had remained as they were -- Delgado not hitting and Alou moving closer to a return -- the notion of Alou playing first base, now or ever, is unsound.

You want to take a veteran who has played every one of his 15,900 big league innings in the outfield, a veteran who is prone to injury, and put him at a position that is completely foreign to him? Wow! Maybe you didn't see Mike Piazza try first base. Maybe you don't recall -- or you never knew -- that Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays and Henry Aaron hardly prospered when they were moved to first. It is a difficult position to play and, for a veteran 41 years old, a position even more difficult to learn. The footwork alone could put Alou at risk.

The Mets haven't given that a thought. And they shouldn't.

This question is then posed with varying players, such as Ryan Church, a few more times throughout the article, and Nobles stands pat on his views. Very funny. A few deal with first, others want Aaron Heilman to sit in the bullpen for eternity, and again Noble tells them what's up. Funny stuff.